The Mutant Pie

I just baked a pie fit for Halloween, the ugliest Apple Pie in the history of pies..
I haven't baked in quite a few years; I make the odd Apple Strudel that people seem to like, but I cheat and use pre-made pastry for those. (Pampas Butter Puff Pastry - delicious and keeps in the freezer for ages!)
Haven't made a 'proper' cake or biscuits in forever, but I was inspired by this post and thought the pastry recipe seems quite simple, surely I can have a crack at that.. well...
I encountered my first hurdle last night when I discovered that whilst I have rice flour and corn flour in the pantry, but not plain old regular flour. Not to be deterred, I made the filling anyhow and instructed Ton to get some flour today. I also wasn't deterred by my lack of a proper food processor, I figured my mini-one would do fine.
All appeared to go well, the dough was the right consistency throughout the process, so I wrapped it up and stuck it in the fridge.
When I took it out it very obviously hadn't risen - so disappointed. Nevertheless, I got it out and attempted to roll it, however, it was very sticky and glutinous, so it stuck to the board, the rolling pin and my hands despite my attempts to tame the dough with a thin layer of flour.
Somehow I got a layer into the bottom of the dish; a little bit like wrangling cats. I could only fit about two thirds of the apple mixture, a silver lining - I'll be able to make a strudel with that. I tried to smear the rest of the dough mixture around the apples to make some kind of enclosed structure, but the whole thing looked rather pitiful in the end.
Anyhow, I figured out WHY the damn thing didn't rise - the baking powder expired in 2007! Should've checked that BEFORE I made the dough, but I guess I will never make THAT mistake again..

We've just finished two pieces, and it actually didn't taste awful, just looked it. Without further ado, this, embarrassingly, is my "masterpiece". Now I feel even more inferior to those kids on Junior Masterchef.